Maybe In Another Life

The other night my wife and I were sitting on the couch, having drinks and half watching The Pitt. My latest favorite medical drama. As far as doctor shows go, it’s a pretty good one. But I think Robby, the main guy in it, cries way too much. In any case, it was just one of those laid-back kinds of nights. Those nights I generally go for whiskey while my wife prefers fruity vodka drinks.

Somewhere in the middle of it, I looked over and said to her, “You know… in another life, I probably could’ve been a doctor.” She looked over at me with a raised eyebrow as if to say, “go on.”

This wasn’t new. I’m sure I’d said that before over the years. Or at least thought it. Probably just in passing. Usually with a shrug… “eh, another life.”

Maybe it’s from all the doctor shows I’ve seen over the years and all the crazy lifesaving things I’ve seen them do on screen. But I’ve always had a pretty deep respect for doctors. Not in a flashy, status-symbol kinda way—although I’ll admit, “Dr. Flores” doesn’t sound too bad at all.

 It’s more the idea of what they do. People walk into a hospital scared, hurting, and not knowing what’s wrong, and somebody in there knows how to fix it.

That’s a pretty awesome way to spend your life…fixing people.

For most of history, people didn’t live very long. Up until about 150 years ago, life expectancy was about 34 years. Things we barely think about now used to end people. Infection. Childbirth. A bad cut. Now somebody can open you up, fix something, and send you home a few days later.

We get used to things just being normal but for me that still feels miraculous. It really is amazing. People thank God when they leave the hospital, and maybe that’s fair enough. But I still think the doctors deserve a little of that credit too.

The truth is, the road to becoming a doctor usually starts early on. You don’t just wake up one day in your 30s or 40s and decide to become a doctor. That path usually has deep roots—family, expectations, education, somebody pushing you in that direction.

I didn’t have that.

Education wasn’t stressed much growing up. I remember mentioning college one evening and being told that “college is good for nothing. You need to learn a trade like plumbing or welding.” So, yea, I wasn’t thinking about careers that required years of schooling. I barely graduated high school. I wasn’t the kid sitting in class thinking about what I wanted to be twenty years down the road.

Honestly, back then I didn’t think that far ahead at all.

You want to laugh? The only two things I can honestly remember ever wanting to be when I was a kid were a fisherman and a chef.

Now here’s the funny part. The fisherman came from those old Gorton’s frozen fish commercials. As a 7 year old kid, the big, bearded guy in the yellow rain gear looked pretty cool to me. At that age, I thought spending your life on a giant fishing boat looked like the greatest job in the world.

That’s what I wanted to be. That was enough for me.

Funny thing is, I’ve gone fishing on a boat. I get seasick going offshore every damn time.

The chef part came from Three’s Company, an old sitcom I used to love watching as a kid back in the 80’s. Jack Tripper was my favorite character, and he was a chef. I thought Jack was funny, cool and smooth with the ladies. I wanted to be like Jack. I loved that show and never missed it. Naturally, I wanted to be a chef like Jack. Honestly, I’m a pretty good cook today and it was Jack on that show that got me started.

I know it’s classic for kids growing up to say they want to be astronauts or president of the United States.

Not me. Apparently, my influences came from cheesy sitcoms and frozen fish commercials.

But that’s how kids think, isn’t it?

Back then, none of that stuff mattered to me. I just thought fishing boats looked awesome and Jack Tripper was the coolest dude on earth.

Somewhere around seventh grade, things started changing. Kids suddenly noticed brands. Back then everybody wanted British Knights sneakers. We used to fold our jeans over and roll them up to show them off. Other kids had the expensive jeans—Girbaud and Cavaricci, all that stuff. And of course, you had to have the cool Jansport backpack hanging off one shoulder. Using two straps was for nerds. And if your parents couldn’t afford all that stuff like mine couldn’t, believe me, kids noticed.

I remember getting made fun for wearing Pro Wings from Payless. I told the kid making fun of me that I liked them. But, I didn’t. They were just what my parents could afford at the time. I remember going home begging my dad for a pair of British Knights like everybody else had. Eventually he took me to the outlet mall and bought me a pair.

I still remember walking into school wearing those shoes for the first time. Jeans rolled up and all. Suddenly people noticed me in a different way. One girl even said, “I see you’re changing your style. Cool.” Funny how much power a pair of shoes can have when you’re thirteen years old.

There’s a quote I’ve always liked, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I don’t even know who originally said it, but it rings true for me.

Imagine this. You’re working hard at your job. Putting in the hours and trying to get that raise you deserve. Finally, all that hard work pays off and you get it. You’re happy because it’s even more than you were hoping for. Life is good. Then you find out the guy working next to you got a bigger raise than you did. Now your raise sucks. It’s not enough. You’re unhappy. A minute ago, you were over the moon. What happened? Nothing. You got what you wanted. But then you compared it to what someone else got and now you’re miserable again.

I’ve been broke. Like really broke. The kind where every dollar matters and you’re stressed about how you’re going to pay the bills. Yeah, there was anxiety and crushing pressure, but overall, I was still relatively happy. Maybe not right there in those stressful moments. But generally, I was happy.

Today I make relatively good money. I’ve got more stability. Less stress. More stuff. But I wouldn’t say I’m any happier now than I was back then. Just more secure.

I’m not complaining. It’s just something I’ve noticed. And maybe sometimes that’s why I still think about those old ideas I used to have. The kid who wanted to be a fisherman. The kid who wanted to be a chef. Or the adult who says, “In another life, I could’ve been a doctor.” Not because I regret anything. I honestly don’t. But there’s something interesting about the lives we could’ve lived.

When you get older, you don’t really look back and think those versions of you were wrong. You kind of smile at them and wonder, what if?

As a kid I didn’t know much. Who did? But I knew what looked fun and what felt worth chasing. And maybe that was enough. Maybe there is no perfect path. Maybe you just pay attention to what pulls you in before the world starts telling you what you ought to have and what you should be doing instead.

I don’t know. In a way, I’m still figuring out what I’m going to be when I grow up.

But that’s a good question.

What would you be if you could just snap your fingers and instantly become anything?

I’d probably still say a doctor.

Or maybe a fisherman.

Or maybe just a guy who got lucky enough to live a few different versions of life in his head and be okay with the one he got.

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